She hates me

She hates me.
Or rather, just finds me annoying.
The curse. Of being seen as an annoying leper. Of not knowing what specifically it is about you that gets under someone's skin. But just knowing that you do, and not being able to do anything about it. Not being able to distance yourself from that person, because she's family.
Because she's my husband's sister.
She told my husband straight out that she doesnt like me. She finds me annoying. And because of that, she feels her relationship with my husband is suffering.

Why? Because she wants to be able to spend time with him, but left unsaid was that she didnt want me there, so she had to miss out on a relationship with her brother.

I feel like i'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
I've constantly lectured step mothers that their husband's relationship with his kids should not concern her, that if they want a relationship with just him and not her, she should not begrudge them of that, for he is their father and its more important for them to have a step-mom less relationship with their dad than no relationship at all.

Yet, thats exactly where i'm headed to.
If sis in law doesnt want a relationship with me because she finds me annoying, then she can just get a life and not have a relationship with my husband. He and I are one; she can't request that I leave and let the two of them have their own little tete-a-tete. I find it highly offensive.
She is a very difficult person; no one will contest that.
I'm starting to really dislike her.
She likes to call my husband late at night, and often. And they talk for hours. She gets so ticked off if i want to participate in the conversation at all, like if i ask what they are talking about, or if i share anything to their conversation.
But thats really not fair to ask of me. I see so little of my husband anyhow, that when he's spending hours on the phone with her instead of with me, i feel like i should be able to participate. I mean, after all, she's intruding on my hubby time.
And even when she calls while he's at work, it bothers me as i think she's not being fair and is making inappropriate requests from him. Like telling him secrets and telling him to keep it a secret from me as well.
That is wrong.
It is very wrong to tell someone to keep a secret from their husband. Or their wife. There should not be secrets between spouses unless specified by a rav for the benefit of the marriage.
I get so mad at her.
I really want my husband to have nothing to do with her.

But at the same time, I get really jealous of my other sister in law's close relationship with her. We're both wives of the brothers; why do they have a close relationship and I don't? I want a close relationship with my sister in law as well. I'm jealous. She's family. If she's here to stay, I want a good relationship with her.

But she told my husband "I don't like your wife. I find her annoying."
And now I started really disliking her and want her cut out.
I'm really torn. I don't want to be like those evil step moms. But I feel that this is different, this is a sibling, not a child. And this time, I'm the one involved.
I don't know what to do.